A Blessing for the Purell Ablutions

Fr. Mike Kinman, on Facebook, wrote the following. We are all using copious amounts of Purell these days. I’m sure GoJo (based in my old town of Akron, OH) is pleased, even if, as Mike mentions in the blessing, we are initiating some sort of super-virus.

Holy God, creator of all things in heaven and on earth, we give you thanks for the gift of this Purell, for ethyl alcohol, it’s active ingredient and for Isopropyl Myristate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Aminoethl Proponal and other inactive ingredients whose purpose is known only to you and in files that cannot be released by the Food and Drug Administration until 2079. We humbly ask that your love and care for all creation not extend to the microbes we hope to eradicate through our sometimes fanatical and paranoid cleansing and that you guard and protect us from all superviruses we might be unleashing on the world through the same. We also beg your protection and indemnification for ourselves, Johnson and Johnson, Gojo industries and all other subsidiaries from liability and physical or spiritual damage from the use of this sanitizer. Finally, may the chemical cleansing of our hands be a an outward and visible sign of the cleansing of our hearts, and may the pungent and alcohol-laden scent waft heavenward as incense in your presence. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, who, like Purell, comes as fire and burns away all that is not worthy of surviving in your presence.
Let the church say … AMEN.


Someone pointed out to me that she was offended by a comment I had written a while back. It came from something I wrote that dealt with the rise of promiscuity and how she interpreted my comments – that I asserted that the fault lay at the feet of women.
I want to make a clarification in case others may have interpreted what I wrote in the same way. I don’t know whether I simply wrote that piece badly or whether she misinterpreted what I wrote, either way I need to clarify.
First of all, just to be clear, I in no way believe that women are separately at fault for the rise of promiscuity! Promiscuity and infidelity have been the domain of men for as long as men have been around, to our shame. As Christians, neither are esteemed as positive or appropriate behaviors or attributes.
Women had a part to play with the rise of promiscuity and infidelity, of course – it takes two to tango, after all. What I think I tried to assert before was that the female contribution to the rise came out of what I consider to be a mistaken assumption or tactic of the woman’s liberation movement of the 1960’s and 1970’s – that for women to have equality with men, they had to take upon themselves male attributes rather than demanding that men acknowledge, respect, value, and esteem unique attributes that women can bring to the table. For women to be equal, it seemed, they had to become like men. So, as the thinking might go, since women thought that to be equal they had to become like men, they too often took upon themselves the worst of male attributes.
Or, something like that.


From Facebook, a former fellow seminarian commenting on a post by another former seminarian.
“Two strings walk into a bar, bartender says I don’t serves strings here, they leave. One ties himself up and messes up his hair, walks back into the bar and says, Give me a beer. Bartender says, Hey aren’t you one of those strings I threw out of here. The strings says, I’m a frayed knot.”
I just cracked up!