A New Year in New York has now set in. Happy New Year!
I went out with Ashton to a party of a friend of his – I was out until 2:30 am and didn’t get to bed until 3:30 am. I woke up at 6:30 am. This is not going to be a good day. While being a morning person has a lot of advantages, and I like it, times like this suggest that my internal body clock is no friend of mine.
We had a great time, and I don’t necessarily regret it, but it was a lack of judgment on my part. I simply have too much studying to do to be trying to function on three hours of sleep. Bret’s apartment is amazing and his friends are a lot of fun to be around.
If ever there was a time to be in Times Square for the changing of the year, last night was it. The temperature was in the 50’s – an absolutely beautiful night. Some guys who were in the square showed up at the party around 1:00 am. The crowds were large and they were shoulder-to-shoulder as they struggled down 8th Ave.
I am so tired. In six months, my life will be so completely different. I have no idea what to expect!
Next Year
Christmas is now over. Boxing Day has passed (if we observed such a thing in the U.S.).
Next year will be a very different Christmas, and I do not think I will like the way it progresses. I want to be home with my family on Christmas (during Christmas time), but more-than-likely I will be involved with a parish and Christmas will revolve around a congregation, without a family of my own.
Orthopraxis
I watched a TV show yesterday on PAX television entitled: “Faith Under Fire.” The premise of the show is to bring on guest participants holding opposing views on important and often controversial issues within the Church dealing with faith and society.
Yesterday, one of the segments dealt with the Christian faith in the 21st century, with guests Bishop Shelby Spong (retired Episcopal Bishop of Newark who is quite controversial for advocating a “new” Christianity for the sake of the religion’s survival within the 21st century) and the president of a Southern Baptist seminary (I do not remember which seminary or the guyç—´ name, but he held to the current American-Fundamentalist position). They sparred!
Others have told me that I am too generous concerning my belief that the majority of those of the American American-Fundamentalists/Religious Right-Evangelicals are honest people wanting to know Truth just like me or anyone else. Those who make this accusation of me are themselves American-Evangelicals. Maybe I place too much faith and hope in what they say concerning their desire for Truth no matter what, and concerning their desire to love God and their neighbor. I don’t know. Maybe. I’m starting to think I do.
Just stuff
I’ve been listening to Skott Freedman after a very long while of not, and putting together stuff for my General Ordination Exams.
Skott Freedman is a wonderful performer – whenever I listen to his music he puts me in some kind of mood. Not really melancholy, although his music does cause me to think back and consider all those things that could have been, might have been, if only.
I went to see Alexander this afternoon with a fellow seminarian – another Bob. I wondered how explicitly Stone portrayed Alexander’s bi/homosexuality. Between Alexander (Colin Farrell) and Hephaistion (Jared Leto), well, I think it would be difficult for someone who had no idea of Alexander’s persuasion not to notice something was going on. I think Stone accomplished the fact tastefully.
Anyway, on the walk back to the seminary, Bob and I talked about a variety of things – mostly about relationships. Freedman, the movie, our conversation brought up memories of my first relationship experience. It was tough. Both of us were fraught with guilt, and of course it did not last, although we remained friends for a while. It has been a very long time since I have spoken with him, but a first love is never forgotten.
He ended up marrying. She later found out about the history. I was asked never to contact him again. I googled him just now and found out that he has established a studio, which does very much suit him. I don’t know whether they remain married. I wonder about his (their) two children, or perhaps more, who will be in their teens by now. I hope and pray he is happy.
Those things that might have been, could have been. Farrell portrayed his love and devotion for his boyhood friend, companion, his love. My thoughts go back to first things and what might have been. Acceptance of oneself, before God and all humanity, is a long process filled with many considerations and turns and decisions.
I hope and pray, God please, that he is happy with his life.
crazy
My last final exam is tomorrow in Ascetical Theology. I turned in my Liturgics paper today. I am taking an Incomplete in “Modern Western Thought on the Trinity and Christology” because I have far more to do in attempting to articulate some kind of personal understanding and competency in these two areas. I do not what to simply write a paper, but I want to come to terms with what I actually believe (well, really to competently articulate what I think I believe) concerning Christology.
One more semester to go, and six more months until I am ordained into the Transitional Deaconate (Lord willing and the creek don稚 rise). Of course, there is the little matter of finding gainful employment!
Emerging Church, UK
The Emerging Church conversation/movement gives me great hope. I believe it is a natural reaction against Baby Boomer American-Evangelicals (and their excesses, especially the politicizing of religion) by their children. Still falling within general Evangelical ideals, hesitant concerning American cultural infiltration, and yearning for the ancient, mysterious faith, it is a place were all is new again, yet in the ancient and tried form of faith rather than in the wholesale rejection of all things traditional. In many ways, it is the Church in kairos – of the past, present, and future!
Here is a discussion board from an Emerging Church website in the UK. The beginning question dealt with how the Emerging Church deals with the controversial issue of homosexuality. Here is the link.
this explains it…
From a Netscape Channels article:
Why Men Don’t Want to Talk at Night
What IS he thinking? After a hard day, he’s thinking he’d rather surf with the TV remote than talk to his lady love. And don’t nag him about the shoes he dropped on the family room floor or the clothes he left on the bedroom floor. He doesn’t even notice them.
That’s the word from social philosopher and author Michael Gurian, who claims that men are not lazy, sexist, or pigheaded. Instead, the male psyche is radically different than the female psyche due to distinct and profound biological differences in their brains.
Stop and change
There is a point, well actually many points if one is consistent, in all of our lives, but especially in the lives of Christians, when we must stop and examine our lives and repent.
We all fail and fall short of what God desires for our lives – whether in our temporal or spiritual lives. We all approach God asking for forgiveness, if we abide by our baptismal covenant that is. There is more, however.
There comes a point (many points during life’s progression) when we must stop and repent – not only seek forgiveness, but turn away from that thing, whatever it may be, that stops our progression and interferes in our relationship(s) with God and with one another.
Living a Holy Life is possible; why is it impossible to live a holy life? Only in Christ, despite and through our failings, as long as we return to God in the midst of our failing and desire to live within the Way of God (life to the full!). Repent, and live.
On the Resurrection and history
From N.T. Wright (Christian Origins and the Question of God, Vol. III)
“Proposing that Jesus of Nazareth was raised from the dead was just as controversial nineteen hundred years ago as it is today.” (10)
“There was once a king who commanded his archers to shoot at the sun. His strongest bowmen, using their finest equipment tried all day; but their arrows fell short, and the sun continued unaffected on its course. All night the archers polished and refeathered their arrows, and the next day they tried again, with renewed zeal; but still their efforts were in vain. The king became angry, and uttered dark threats. On the third day the youngest archer, with the smallest bow, came at noon to where the king sat before a pond in his garden. There was the sun, a golden ball reflected in the still water. With a single shot the lad pierced it at its heart. The sun splintered into a thousand glittering fragments.
“All the arrows of history cannot reach God. There may, of course, be some meanings of the word ‘god’ that would allow such a being to be set up like a target in a shooting-gallery, for historians to take pot-shots at. The more serious a pantheist someone is, the more likely they will be to suppose that in studying the course of events within the natural world they are studying their god. But the god of Jewish tradition, the god of Christian faith, and indeed the god of Muslim devotion (whether these be three or one does not presently concern us) are simply not that kind of god. The transcendence of the god(s) of Judaism, Christianity and Islam provides the theological equivalent of the force of gravity. The arrows of history are doomed to fall short.
“And yet. Deep within both Jewish and Christian tradition there lies a rumour that an image, a reflection, of the one true god has appeared within the gravitational field of history. This rumour, running from Genesis through the Wisdom tradition, and then into Jewish beliefs about Torah on the one hand and Christian beliefs about Jesus on the other, may yet offer a way for the circle to be squared, for the cake to be both eaten and possessed, for the transcendence of this god to come within bowshot.” (11)
belief
The traditional understanding of the Anglican three-legged stool comprises: Scripture, Tradition, and Reason. Some may re-order the list – Anglo-Catholics may put Tradition first, Anglican-Evangelicals will leave Scripture first, and liberals or progressives may place Reason in the first slot. Wesley, to his death an Anglican priest and early in his life an Anglo-Catholic, added a fourth element: Experience.
The “Wesleyan Quadrilateral” thus comprises: Scripture, Tradition, Reason, and Experience. I think this may be a more realistic and frankly accurate portrayal of how people come to belief and understanding, at least in the Anglican tradition, within which I include Wesley (and Methodism in general, although they have abandoned the more sacramental and liturgically catholic notions).
The Episcopal Church likes to think of itself as the “thinking person’s church,” because we are not fundamentalist, and we allow for a messy openness as we attempt to know and discern God and God’s will for this world. There is an allowance for diverse opinions, theologies, pieties, and practices within certain boundaries of our common prayer. At least that is the theory. What I have come to realize through study and by antidotal evidence is that because Experience generally is not included in the Anglican system, many Episcopalians do not have an experiential faith, an experiential relationship with God/Jesus. They have a belief system to ascent to, a pattern to follow, a method of seeking, but with not much behind all that. They see the edges of the forest and trees and attempt to explain it all, but never enter into the forest. They learn about the man from a distance, but never know him personally.
So, we read all these different theologies and theories of the origin and development of scripture, of God, of salvation, etc., and it all becomes so anthropocentric. New theories and new formulations of Christ, of God, of humankind, of belief, of evidence, of anything just so that it is different than traditional understandings of all these things. They are welcome in the mix of thought and practice of Anglicanism.
Yet, without experience, these theories often destroy the faith of people. Without an experiential relationship with God – the reality of it – they are all just theories, just good lessons, just nice ways to live, all is reconfigured and reformulated and reinterpreted to fit into a cosmology that cannot allow for anything other than the material.
I can read all these different theologies and say, well, that there may be aspects of truth in each and they may all contribute to our overcoming the fact that we see through a glass dimly. However, my faith is not a bit shaken when I encounter a theologian who reconfigures the resurrection story to be just that – a story told by primitive peoples attempting to understand life and to hand-down their understanding to their children. My faith is not a bit shaken when the Jesus Seminar strips scripture of almost any authenticity concerning the human Jesus and his sayings, his mission, and his understanding of himself, let alone being God incarnate.
I experience the reality of scripture, it seems because I believe that scripture can be true. Consider the lilies of the valley and the birds of the air – I have experienced the provision of God in ways beyond just coincidence or good fortune or luck. Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters when you face trials of many kinds – I experience this. The joy of the Lord is my strength – I experience such things. I sense the presence of God in my quite-time, during worship, as I mumble through prayer (yes, “senses” and “feelings” can be fickle and deceiving). The psalmists wrote from their hearts to God and about God – I have experienced and realized so much of what they write. I experience God, and nothing a theorist postulates to explain away the wellspring, the source, the beginning point of these experiences traditionally understood has yet to convince me that my experiences have not been valid or true. To some the gift of healing, to others the gift of tongues and some others, prophesy – I have experienced such things.
Jonah and the whale – who knows? The lessons are valid, the lessons are knowable, and whether historically or literally true or not, they all speak of relationship with God and the writers’ experiences with God, not simply an attempt to understand the world.
Too many people cannot believe in a god who is personal – a god who is experiential. They cannot believe because they do not allow for such a thing. There are many reasons why they cannot believe, I know, but I hear over and over again how this or that person read this or that certain theologian and suddenly their faith is shattered and they descend into this funk, and then they can no longer believe.
It is more than the Dark Night of the Soul. I think it is anyway. It certainly resembles such a thing, but what are the origins of the experience? God? Man?
I am so glad I began my spiritual life in a system that emphasized the experiential nature of God, descendents of Wesley, because if I started in the intellectualism of much of the Episcopal Church that puts far too much emphasis on the reason leg of the stool, I donÂ’t know whether I would be a Christian right now. I might be a Christian through the ascent to a belief system, but I donÂ’t think I would know and be with my Father in Heaven.