I took the Patristics (Church History) final this morning. I got up early to study for a final few hours. I thought I was pretty set, with the understanding that another full day would have made all the difference in the world. It would have been a moot point, however. The way the final was structured, I didn’t really study the right things anyway. Such is life, I suspect. At this point, I really don’t care. I want to get everything done and over with, and while I do want to do a good job, I am not going to kill myself. There are far more important things in the world than knowing the Council of Ephesis in 431 was concerned with the heresy of Euthycianism. Not that Euthycianism isn’t a good thing to know, but in the grand scheme of things, right now it is not high of the list of important things. Anyway, my perspective has changed a lot since my illness.
I saw myself heading towards burn out, great dependence on my own effort, an unwillingness to give things over to God, and inability to have right priorities – which should always be people-centered first and for most. I’m glad for the illness, if for only that reason. The stress and anxiety that leads to nothing more than illness (emotionally and then physically) is simply not worth it.
I am very glad for my classmates, who are truly finished. I still have two mid-terms, a final, two exegesis, and a short preceptorial paper to finish. I just hope I can finish most of it before CPE.
I had another follow-up appointment with my doctor. They took nine viles of blood this time – a record for me. So, the MAC in my blood shouldn’t be there and now is the process of finding out why it is.
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