It is 11:00 pm on

It is 11:00 pm on September 10th. Tomorrow will be the anniversary… the one year anniversary. The city seems to be all right, thus far, except for the media tributes that keep playing. This past weekend, during the retreat, several middlers shared about their experience last year – what they are feeling about this year. It seems I’m between two worlds. One, the world of those who were hear to feel, to taste, to hear, to smell, to see, simply to experience everything from the fall of the towers, yet I was not here that day, that one day, nor for the weeks that followed. I was here, though. The other world comprises those who experienced the attack from afar. I was here and saw, and smelled, and heard. I don’t belong to either group, yet both, and I don’t know how I am going to respond tomorrow.
The cable guy said today he is just going to a movie. He was down there, then. The percussion smashed his windshield. J.R. is going to sleep late and work out. We all, here at General, will go to Morning Prayer. Afterwards, several of us will travel down to Trinity Wall Street and St. Paul’s Chapel – hopefully we will be able to get into Trinity for the choral Evensong at 11:00 am. Evensong, because they are broadcasting the service in England. The Lord Mayer of London, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Presiding Bishop, and others will be there to remember and to present a newly made bell from the sister-parish in London as a gift to Trinity. I hope we can get in. Here, at General, they will be reading aloud all the names of the missing and killed. And the terrorists. I will be there for Evening Prayer, where I should finally meet Doug, Ned’s boyfriend. Afterwards, Ned and I are planning on walking up the East River trail up to the site, as we did last year. I’ve run up to that point twice now. It’s hard to believe.
Ashton was/is due back tonight, I think. He called from the airport in Louisville, but I missed the call. I thought he would be home by now, but really have no idea where or what he is doing. I really want to see him, talk to him. God, could it be possible? Really possible?
comments? e-mail me