I attended the Trinity Institute Conference on Theological Reflection, “The Anatomy of Reconciliation,” a week or so ago. I was impressed (which isn’t difficult for someone of my limited theological knowledge. Actually, that isn’t really true – I was impressed by the way these four keynote speakers handled the topic and how the two theologians reframed many of the questions and assumptions about reconciliation, how God works within us and through us for His purposes in the world, and our response to God’s call.) James Alison, British Roman Catholic theologian, who happens to be gay and Miroslov Volf – systematic theologian from Yale Divinity School (formerly of Fuller Theological Seminary) – were the two theologians. There is a lot I still have to process. Perhaps I will write more…
In one of the final panel discussions, Alison commented on part of Volf’s presentation – Volf spoke for a long time on the process he went through in forgiving his military superior and severe interrogator when Volf was in the Yugoslav army. (As soon as he entered the military, he was immediately suspect because he had an American wife and studied in the West.) Alison said that as he listened to Volf’s presentation he found himself feeling envious because Volf’s enemy was so easily identified. I have to say, when Alison admitted that he sometimes wonders whether in fact HE is the enemy – in reference to Volf’s enemy being easily identified as his interrogator – I was greatly impressed, and saddened. Anyone who is honestly seeking Truth must be able to admit s/he can be wrong. In Alison’s admitting that, as most of the Church demands, as a gay man he could well be wrong and truly be ‘the enemy’ – I can relate! Look at all the terrible troubles ‘people like me’ have caused for our Church and the Communion. If I seek Truth, then I could well be wrong concerning any particular thing I may believe at this particular time, and what the anti-gay people say could well be true (at least theologically speaking… their demeaning stereotypes certainly don’t apply!). Alison was painfully honest, and if true reconciliation can ever be realized there must be vulnerability, humility, honesty, and integrity on both sides. Perhaps this is too much to ask of most people, but in Alison’s comments I see an example that is hopeful and helpful. Will the other side be willing to enter into conversation, or are they intent on… what?
In addition, Emergent conducted a theological conversation with Miroslav Volf this past week at Yale. One of the people who attended the conversation, Adam Cleaveland, commenting on his blog posted this template of Volf’s:
Miroslav’s Theological Template

god.
who is god.
what is god doing in the world.
how is god achieving this.
us.
who are we.
where are we going.
how are we supposed to get there.
connecting the two.
what should we ultimately trust.
how should we order our trusts, provisional and ultimate.

Where does this lead? – to more pondering. Oh, if only I had time to truly ponder!! I do appreciate Volf.
There is and has been developing a number of people who can engage in current theological controversies in ways that belie the normal and polarized conflicts between liberal and conservative theologies. I want to be part of this process, which goes back to my long-time construct that “the way of Jesus is always a third way.” I want to be part of the reconciliation that must, for the sake of the cause of Christ in this world, move forward in charity.
“Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:7-9 (New International Version)

Too Soon is simply a beautiful, beautiful song by EastMountainSouth! A testimony to a mother’s ways.

Ashton and I went to record our interview with StoryCorp – the oral history project that is running across the country right now. It was one of his birthday presents. The first StoryCorp booth was in Grand Central Terminal in New York City, where we recorded our interview yesterday. There are now booths at the transportation hub at Ground Zero and two traveling booths. The interview, along with everyone else’s, are submitted to the Library of Congress for classification and cataloging.
I interviewed Ashton because of his very interesting and unusual life while growing up in New York City during the 1970’s and ’80’s when the City was truly a “concrete jungle.” It was odd how once in the booth. The interview, which was supposed to be a natural conversation between him and me, kind of became very formal. Ashton has great stories, but he said he ended up being very self-conscious of what he was saying. Sometimes, it was like pulling teeth to get him to open up. Over all, it was a lot of fun and a good interview.
I think this is a great project. A national oral history of our time and with regular people can only be a good thing. I’ve heard many very touching interviews on NPR’s Morning Edition.

Yes, yes, I know, enough already. Ashton got me the book as a stocking stuffer for Christmas. Since I’m heading home to Ohio today, we opened our gifts on Monday.
I finished the book – really a short story – by Annie Proulx.
I must give credit to the screenplay writers for their expansion of the story. They did a wonderful job. The book is a little more graphic and the realities of limited education, a hard life, and aging are more realistic in the book. The book is just as heart wrenching, and the use of the written page rather than visual images become more poetic in many places. The screenplay is faithful, sometimes to the very words, to the book.

Well, today is the first day of the New York Transit workers’ strike. Leaving West Orange, NJ on the NJ Transit train this morning wasn’t so bad. I suspect a lot of people just stayed home today. The train actually had two less cars than they normally run, which did make the train a bit crowded. No delays getting into Penn Station in Manhattan.
The station at 8:00 am didn’t seem much more crowded than a normal Tuesday, although there were more people. As I came up the stairs into the lower level from the platform, the crowds did pick up. Approaching the 7th Ave. & 34th St. exit, which also happens to be the entrance for the 1,2,3 subway lines, I was a bit dumbfounded to see the crowds. It took me 10 minutes to walk the single city block to reach the exit stairs – wall-to-wall people. I’ve never seen anything like it! I must say, it was kind of fun. That is one thing about New Yorkers – in a situation like this people are generally very polite and simply do what has to be done, which is to wait and shuffle.
I figured the streets would be very crowded and there were more people than normal, but not nearly as packed as I expected. This may be because many people decided not to come into the city, maybe it was just a Mid-town thing, who knows. We shall see how things go as the strike continues.
If people attempt to drive into Manhattan below 96th street, they must have at least 4 people in the car. From my perspective, Mid-town at around 8:00 am, the traffic wasn’t all that bad. I don’t know what it was like in other parts of the city.
Au Bon Pain was very crowded, but their workers seemed to have gotten to work. The fruit venders were not out this morning, but the coffee and donute carts were on the street corners.
I tell ya, I think the transit workers have made a big mistake striking this close to Christmas. They will win no sympathy from the average New Yorker, particularly because they are demanding pay increases of 8% every year for the next three years. The City’s proposed contract would require all new hires to contribute 1% to their own health-care with all current employees continuing to receive absolutely free health-care, but the union will not abide by such a thing. I just don’t think people are going to be clamoring to the City to give the transit workers what they want.
Luckily, I’m leaving for D.C. and then Ohio tomorrow for Christmas week. It’s kind of fun to be in the midst of the first strike in 25 years. Honestly, I’m not that inconvenienced at this point (except for the fact that I cannot meet with a friend for lunch today, and his Christmas present will have to wait until after Christmas – Brooklyn is too far to walk!

I saw the movie for a second time. It is better the second time around – you pick up on small things that were easily missed the first time around.
I knew this movie would affect me, and it has. It is hard thinking of lost opportunities and struggles. There has not been a day in my adult life that I have not struggled with this whole issue. What could life have been like? If I had made a single different decision, how could my life have been different? Better? Perhaps not. Who knows? If that first person, of whom I am reminded poignantly by this movie and Ennis in particular, and I could have continued… Most of my angst is written in my paper-n-pen journal – thank God for that!
I’ve been reading newspaper articles about the movie, particularly from mid-western, western, and southern papers. It seems that only the Religious Right organizations are down on the movie, which is expected. The review from JoBlow.com seems to sum up the attitude of many people not residing in the largest metropolitan areas.

It is not always easy holding onto what I profess to believe. We all change over time. If we don’t, we stop living, we stop being human, we stop experiencing the world around us, we descend into… who knows what.
The process of giving up to the ether our beliefs, ideas, understandings can be a wearying endeavor. If we seek Truth – honest, real, legitimate Truth – we have to be willing to give up on preconceived ideas even if those ideas bring us great comfort. To grow is to move on, to move forward, to push through the shim that clouds our vision of things before us.
The process is disquieting. If I profess to believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob… if I profess to believe in Jesus as the Christ… if I profess to believe that the Good News is truly good and available for all of us, then I can do nothing less than allow all that I perceive of myself to be stripped away in order to understand… in order to be discover the “me” that I am meant to be.
“Consider it pure joys, my brothers, when ever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
I’ve come back to this verse so many times. I believe it to be true.
Then, of course, there is this quote from Ann Rice:
“Very few beings really seek knowledge in this world. Few really ask. On the contrary, they try to wring from the unknown the answers they have already shaped in their own minds — justification, confirmation, forms of consolation without which they can’t go on. To really ask is to open the door to a whirlwind. The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner.”
See, it isn’t easy! We fail all the time. Mercy. Grace.

A good, sad, tragic, poinent movie. I have my own story, as do we all. It was interesting hearing the perceptions of the others in the group of four with whom I saw the movie. The straight guy didn’t like it. The gay guy who never had a problem admitting to or being in a relationship with another guy said he just could not connect with the characters – “we all can make choices.” The other gay guy was on an emotional rollercoaster. And me. Unless you are caught in the situation where all your choices seem to be wrong – all seem to hurt other people – you cannot understand the tragic situations presented in the characters of this movie.
I can understand.

I’m just about to leave to see Brokeback Mountain. I’ve been reading the personal stories people have written on the website – so many of them are heartbraking.
So many of us have our own stories that are so similiar to Ennis and Jack’s (I think that is their names). I have my own story. They never leave you.
I’m actually a bit nervous. I know that it will be a difficult movie to watch – a flood of memories, feelings, thoughts, lost possibilities, questions, and who knows what else. Yet, these are the experiences that life is made of. They cannot be denied, they cannot be ignored. To try to avoid such things is to avoid living.