What do I say? It’s

What do I say? It’s funny or it’s odd, what word best describes what I’m thinking or feeling? Perhaps no other words except the simple expression of what is going on. Why do I feel the need to preface a remark? I have come to appreciate being by myself over the past several years, not borne of necessity, but by mounting preference. Yet, when alone, when I can do whatever I want whenever I want without the need to consider another person, a creeping sense of loneliness rises within me. I do enjoy solitude, and I know that being alone is only temporary, yet the feelings are there nonetheless. A common feeling, I suspect. Loneliness is a common condition, I know.
Sam left on Sunday, and it was quite nice seeing someone from “home.” My parents left this morning, and it was very good seeing them again – my Mom’s first time in New York. We walked until our feet and legs were worn out. I was looking forward to getting back to my haphazard routine – spending time reading and getting my new room in order, but as I left the Close on my way to Big Cup, this sense of dread and loneliness took hold. Why? I’m not sure, but I live through it. I’m glad Ashton is coming tonight. I’m looking forward to seeing him. I missed him this week.
comments? e-mail me

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.