{"id":58,"date":"2002-07-26T07:29:05","date_gmt":"2002-07-26T07:29:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/?p=58"},"modified":"2002-07-26T07:29:05","modified_gmt":"2002-07-26T07:29:05","slug":"i_have_no_clarity_i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/?p=58","title":{"rendered":"I have no clarity. I"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have no clarity.  I feel lost.  Emotionally, I\u00c2\u2019m all over the place, absolutely.  I feel this pang in my chest and don\u00c2\u2019t know where it is coming from, don\u00c2\u2019t know how to identify it.  It\u00c2\u2019s there all the same.  What am I feeling?  Do these feelings mean anything \u00c2\u2013 something I won\u00c2\u2019t or can\u00c2\u2019t recognize, admit?<br \/>\nI\u00c2\u2019ve written a lot about missing John, at least in my journal, maybe more so in my paper journal, but I know things were over a long time ago and we are both probably better off, at least as the people we where then.  As Vince said back then, \u00c2\u201cyou\u00c2\u2019re just too much for him,\u00c2\u201d but I pray that he will be too much himself \u00c2\u2013 deep, secure, joyful, sincere, with a thrill for life.  That he becomes the person he is meant to be \u00c2\u2013 full-life.<br \/>\nYet, I can\u00c2\u2019t seem to get over the thoughts or feelings of the sense of lose I\u00c2\u2019m feeling about friendship with Pat.  He is such a unique individual \u00c2\u2013 someone you come across once in a lifetime.  I don\u00c2\u2019t think I will ever come across someone like him again.  I\u00c2\u2019m feeling the loss of seeing him and working with him every weekday even now, even before I leave, even though I will see him in a couple hours.  I have learned what kind of person I want to be with, share my life with, from him.  Is that realization contributing to this melancholy?<br \/>\nI really don\u00c2\u2019t know anything right now.<br \/>\ncomments?  <a href=\"mailto:bob@hypersync.net\" title=\"e-mail me\">e-mail me<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have no clarity. I feel lost. Emotionally, I\u00c2\u2019m all over the place, absolutely. I feel this pang in my chest and don\u00c2\u2019t know where it is coming from, don\u00c2\u2019t know how to identify it. It\u00c2\u2019s there all the same. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/?p=58\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hypersync.net\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}