Today is one of those days. I’m fed up with people not making decisions, not following through, and things not getting done. I’m tired of waiting on other people when I know I could get the thing done in far less time, and frankly with far less effort.
I’m tired of being inconvenienced by the efforts, or lack of efforts, of others. There are just times when the perceived incompetence of others becomes too much.
Then, I have to tell myself that I am not any better. Do I really believe that? In some circumstances, absolutely. In other circumstances, not at all, but feigning humility in these instances is a cultural requirement.
I determined a number of years ago after becoming so danged frustrated with idiotic Christians and this sub-par subcultural “American Christian” life that attempts to pass for a real life-in-Christ, that I would try to the best of my ability to be honest, open, transparent, vulnerable, and as real as I can possibly be. I understand the ramifications of trying to be such a person. I realize that when I strive to make my “yes’s” be “yes” and my “no’s” be “no,” that some people will not understand and will not like it. Yet, what else can I do? Part of the first step in attempting to be this way, at least for me, was to recognize and acknowledge my own failures and realize that I can and will be absolutely wrong.
If I do not want to fall into the same trap that so many other people fall into, if I don’t want to play the same childish games that we Christians so often play, if I don’t want to be a hypocrite, how else can I live my life other than to try to be as open, honest, vulnerable, and Christ-like as I can be? I have to admit, at the same time, that I fail, often. That is the painful reality of it all.
I can do nothing else and remain true to what I believe Christ calls me to. I cannot help how others will respond or react. I’ve been turned down. I may not realize positions of authority or opportunities because I don’t “play the game” like the big-boys/girls want it played. It isn’t about being heroic or anti-anything, but about being as true to what I perceive as the call of God for my life as I can be, with God’s help. What else can I do?