Just stuff

I’ve been listening to Skott Freedman after a very long while of not, and putting together stuff for my General Ordination Exams.
Skott Freedman is a wonderful performer – whenever I listen to his music he puts me in some kind of mood. Not really melancholy, although his music does cause me to think back and consider all those things that could have been, might have been, if only.
I went to see Alexander this afternoon with a fellow seminarian – another Bob. I wondered how explicitly Stone portrayed Alexander’s bi/homosexuality. Between Alexander (Colin Farrell) and Hephaistion (Jared Leto), well, I think it would be difficult for someone who had no idea of Alexander’s persuasion not to notice something was going on. I think Stone accomplished the fact tastefully.
Anyway, on the walk back to the seminary, Bob and I talked about a variety of things – mostly about relationships. Freedman, the movie, our conversation brought up memories of my first relationship experience. It was tough. Both of us were fraught with guilt, and of course it did not last, although we remained friends for a while. It has been a very long time since I have spoken with him, but a first love is never forgotten.
He ended up marrying. She later found out about the history. I was asked never to contact him again. I googled him just now and found out that he has established a studio, which does very much suit him. I don’t know whether they remain married. I wonder about his (their) two children, or perhaps more, who will be in their teens by now. I hope and pray he is happy.
Those things that might have been, could have been. Farrell portrayed his love and devotion for his boyhood friend, companion, his love. My thoughts go back to first things and what might have been. Acceptance of oneself, before God and all humanity, is a long process filled with many considerations and turns and decisions.
I hope and pray, God please, that he is happy with his life.

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