Some fourteen years ago, I began attending an Episcopal Church in Akron, OH. I just wanted to see what a sacramental and liturgical church was like since I had become fairly disillusioned with the tradition I had been a part of.
Over time, I discovered this thing called Anglicanism. A wonderful thing, I believed, because unlike American Protestantism this church seemed to stay together despite the arguments, the infighting, and the differences of all kinds. In my humble opinion, this brought an overall balance in the functioning of the whole church.
This is my first General Convention. I am truly impressed with the level of sophistication and decorum of the committee hearings, the open hearings, and the debate in the various Houses. I am inspired by it all.
Even so, during these past fourteen years I have always had this strange sense that I don't know where I fit within this church. That was okay when there seemed to be the understanding that we were all in this together, despite how one group or another was actually treated (and some groups from both sides are treated very poorly). If one part of this church decides to leave, then how am I to understand my place in our church, let alone within the Communion? It seems, perhaps, I will be even less sure of my place. I am glad I was ordained before this convention.
Then again, as one who knows I am just passing through this brief period of time called life, why should it really matter if I feel comfortable or secure or not? I suspect that the better sense should be that I learn to be content in all things, as Paul suggests in describing the place he found by yielding completely to the will of God.
The Anglican ethos will continue on, despite what this church decides to do or not to do. We all like to say Anglicanism is ours - is mine! - but it isn't. I’m not disillusioned with Anglicanism, just with a lot of people who call themselves Anglicans. Anglicanism, if it is truly a legitimate expression of the One Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church, is God's. I can live within that ethos and it really doesn't matter whether I feel I have a nice, comfy nock or not. Frankly, I will probably be much better off in the long run if I have to continue to seek and fight to understand what the heck God is up to!
